Coaching with Siama


How they control our lives

A couple of days ago I watched a child have a temper tantrum in the supermarket. It was a good one – down on the floor kicking and screaming. People took a wide berth, made judgmental faces about the kid and the mother and hurried on as if they were being made uncomfortable. 

When I stopped to think about it I realized how frequently we blame others for our reactions to a situation. It doesn’t matter what the story is. It could be about corrupt CEO’s or politicians, global warming caused by greed, who’s responsible for the lousy economy, war and terrorism, our daughter’s wayward husband etc. etc. If we assign blame to someone then it seems as if we are justified in our reactions. 

The interesting thing is how we all have been conditioned to use our emotions to rationalize, excuse and defend our behavior. If we feel it, then it seems as if we have a right and sometimes even a duty, to respond or act in a certain way. I am not just referring to what some people call “negative” emotions, like hatred, but also we feel to be motivated to action by “positive” emotions, like love.

What are emotions? When I was in India a guru told me that, “Emotions are reactions to fields of energy.” I didn’t really understand it fully then, but the more I thought about it and observed it in myself and others, the more I came to realize the truth of what he said. The kid on the floor was expressing himself and everyone was reacting to that energy. When he got up from the floor it was over for him, but it definitely was not over for the people who had been watching. They made themselves uncomfortable and blamed him and the mom for what they were feeling and didn’t let it go, like the child did.

We live in a playground of creation and what we experience is what we’ve created. It takes a courageous person to own their creations and their emotions. 

My questions for you are:

1. What situations create strong emotions and reactions in you?

2. Do you justify and how do you justify what you feel?

3. What would it be like to let the story go and start fresh as soon as you notice that your emotions are causing you to react strongly about something? Try it!


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